I’m 5 days out with my beautiful bundle of joy sleeping soundly on my lap. Nursing has been going well and it seems that my milk came in rather quickly which I am very grateful for.
I have a decision to make that I thought I’d already made. I weighed myself. At best I lost 13 lbs delivering my son. which is about 5 less lbs than with my first. I’m currently at the weight I was when I was admitted to the hospital to have my first. I’m glad to be under 200lbs. But it’s still a lot more than I wanted to weigh.
My crossroads is a choice between being upset, trying to watch what I eat or eating when I’m hungry not worrying about it now and just ignoring it really.
I want to ignore it. I want to say that I don’t care; part of me really doesn’t. But the other part of me is a little sad. It’s kind of hard for me to be this big. Mostly just because I have no idea what im going to even wear. I’m still in sweatpants, mostly out of necessity but what about when I have to go back to work? I am only 5 days post-op. I know I ‘just’ had a baby. I know that I also could lose another 10 lbs by the time I go back to work.
I do truly have plenty of time to lose the weight and none of my actual friends will judge me for anything about it. I’m going to do my best to just focus on eating healthy meals, maintaining my milk supply and just ignoring the rest.
I also need to just have my husband hide my scale. I have great tendencies to weigh myself all the time when I’m in a weight loss mode. Honestly I’d be a little more bummed about it but when I told my husband how I had only lost about 13 lbs he said, ” so you basically just lost how much he weighed (including all the extras he came with placenta, blood etc), that sucks.” That was all I needed and I felt so validated when he said that. That sucks. Well yes it does. But I’m not really in a position to do much about it and I certainly knew I couldn’t control it to start with.
I’m going to focus on my current wins.
Win #1: I barely felt anything during my c-section which was a major improvement from my first where I could feel my bladder getting moved. The one inch difference between an epidural and spinal block made it a great experience. Huge win
Win #2: even though I’m in the nursing stage where my nips hurt, he’s nursing really well and even started gaining weight back. I was really concerned because with my first I had a really hard time and this is going much better.
Win #3: I’m having minimal bleeding and it’s been easier getting around this time.
Win #4: I didn’t get saggy stretched out belly skin. Yes I have 100 new stretch marks but it looks like the elasticity in my skin is still there and eventually will get back to what I’m used to.
Let’s also not forget the wonderful things about just not being pregnant anymore
- No more heartburn
- No more random gagging/nausea/ vomiting
- My bones don’t feel like they’re going to split apart
- My body is mine again
- I have a wonderful sweet baby I can stare at all day